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Kyle (a.k.a. Crunch), 24

Kalamazoo, MI

Kyle may have accidentally found Housemates, but we’re glad he did. Growing up in Kalamazoo Michigan gave Kyle a taste for the homegrown fun. After graduating high school he decided to go to college… towns and just kinda chill. Testing his theory that in places of intellectual study knowledge really was in the air. Kyle is self employed (he made us promise to clarify that ‘self-employed’ doesn’t mean ‘homeless’), and always looking for new friends and a good time.
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What made you decide to audition for Housemates?
So I was walking down the street and I saw this flyer for ‘Housemates’ and I was like “Man these people must really need a place to crash.” And then I remembered this thing I thought of this one time, like. If I got enough roommates… the kind that pay rent… then I wouldn’t have to pay any rent. So I called the number on the flyer, and found out that they were actually looking for people to live somewhere else for free. So I’m like SCORE!

Before coming on Housemates, what was a normal day like for you?
You know, I’d wake up. Hang out on the couch. Watch some TV. If there weren’t TOO many people around I’d squeeze in a little ‘me’ time. I was kinda self-employed, so I’d deal with a customer when I had too, maybe partake with them a bit to keep relations friendly. OH and some days there would be Hoagies. Those were good days.

What do you do in your spare time? What do you aspire to be?
In my spare times I like to Chill out, do relaxing things, play video games, make sandwiches, watch TV, make tea, listen to music, play guitar, order pizza, have some beers, try to convince this one girl I know, Mary Jane, to hook up with me, look around online, plan roadtrips, tell my roommates I’m going to start looking for a ‘real job.’ Tend the garden. You know, the usual.

As far as aspirations go, I don’t really know what I want to do, like for a job. But I don’t want to do anything that’s gonna require me to cut my hair. I’m sick of people think I do drugs just because I have long hair. (the two are completely unrelated). Though Housemates was pretty sweet. Maybe I aspire to be on more reality TV shows… are you guys gonna have a sequel?

What’s the best thing about you? What’s the worst thing about you?
Well my worst quality is that I never finish anything...

Movie: Half-Baked, The Hudson Hawk, Snakes on a Plane, The Gift (or at least part of it.)
Song: Paranoid Android (Radiohead) Worry Rock (as covered by Weezer) Pheurton Skeurto (Sunny Day Real Estate)
TV Show: South Park is so insightful, LOST is a trip, and C-Span is always good for a laugh.
Color: What color are Lava lamps?
State Capital: Juneau… it’s so fun to say… Didyouknow?

What’s your stripper name (middle name + home state)? Jack Michigan

What was your biggest concern about living with nine strangers?
Privacy, I always used to have roommates who would like borrow my stuff… And then not give it back… cause they had … umm… set it on fire a little.

How long did it take you to get used to the cameras?
At first I thought it was gonna be hard, cause you know EVERYTHING I did was getting taped. I was a little worried I might do something illegal on camera… like speed or something. But one time Becka and I were looking for a place without smoke alarms to… light incense, and candles and stuff. We ended up in the basement, we met this dude Darth. He was like watching all the monitors. In exchange for a hook up he hooked me up with a little privacy from the cameras if you know what I mean.

What were your first impressions of the other housemates?
Andy: Now I’m not homophobic, I know cause this dude gave me a dimer to make out with a cardboard cut out of Josh Hartnett one time. But Andy seemed like the kinda dude who wouldn’t be cool with my preference of the ladies. One time, when I was really gone we’d just chill and watch My Little Ponies, I think he got offended when I started laughing though. PLUS I think he had a foot fetish.

Becka: Right away I knew Becka had a nice rack, and I was right cause one time she flashed me so I’d agree to help her vote out Kat. Plus I know Becka was a true friend, cause she seemed totally bummed when I got voted out. She gets me. Maybe I should look her up when this is over. She’s the brunette, right?

Eric: Eric was alright. He liked Cornhole a bit too much, he’d be all like ‘Let’s play another game’ and I’d be like ‘Dude, can’t we just go steal Andy’s My Little Pony’s DVD’s and Relaaaax. Then hide them in Lavender’s room and watch them go at it for kicks?’ and he was usually up for that.

Kat :This girl needed to chill out!

Kristin: I am at least 80% sure I was the first guy to hook up with Kristen… 30%

Lavender: Lavender and I had some bon(g)ding moments… yeah… Kinda a dirty hippy though, but at least she wasn’t a mooch.

Matt: My first impression of Matt was that he was a laid back cool dude, but that was ONLY my FIRST impression.

Nicki: Remember that time when I made brownies: While they were cooling Nicki stole them then sat in her room and ate the whole pan (cause she didn’t know they were special) Then spent like three hours skipping around the kitchen singing show tunes in her panties? That is by far my fondest memory of her.

Sufjan: Sufjan had good taste in music, though he got pissed that time when I told him that Radiohead is pretty mainstream. But at least I didn’t have to worry that he was gonna turn me gay like Andy.

Describe your Housemates experience in three words. Good Times! … Boobs.